Carolina Love

What a whirlwind these past few days have been! On Tuesday, Brian called me at work and said that we really needed to go to North Carolina...and he wanted to leave in the morning. As much of a planner as I am, I was a little worried about making everything work out with jobs, travel, money, etc. but I knew that this is what we needed to do and that God would provide and work out the details...which He sure did!!

What a blessing the trip was in so many different ways! We left Orlando at 12 am (midnight) early Wednesday morning so we could get there in time for Brian's brother Landry's football game at 4pm. We rolled into Morganton, North Carolina around 10am and went straight to B's sister Kayla's house to get some much needed sleep! We took along little Forrest as our travel buddy. Here is a shot with Forrest and B on the way there.

We got to do so many things and see soo many people while we were there! We got to spend lots of time with his dad which was wonderful! We went to 3 football games too which Brian was excited about! Also we got to spend some quality time with our little nephew Malachi! He is 1 and a half and I just love him to pieces! I already miss him like crazy!

Brian, Malachi and Forrest

It's so hard to live away from family...both Brian's (10.5 hours away) and mine (18+ hours away) but it does make the time you get to spend together that much sweeter and it does make you depend more on God to sustain you!

We left Sunday for our long drive home...it always is slower going home...

My little car buddy

All in all, it was a great trip...a time with Brian's family, a chance for Brian and I to get away together (which doesn't seem to happen often), a taste of fall weather, a chance to relax and a time spent in Carolina Love :)

 I just thought I would throw in these last picture I took just for laughs...we saw some of the strangest, most ghetto cars I have ever seen on our trip...

it has the Atlanta Braves "A" spinning in the rims

it says "Sunkist" across the side

First Memorial Service

What an honor it was for Brian and I to be a part of the memorial service on Friday evening in memory of Levi Johnson!

I have never been to a memorial service before, nor have I been to a funeral so I really didn't know exactly what to expect, but I was so humbled and honored to be a part of the service. My husband Brian got to share a testimony of the impact that Levi made on his life and I played the guitar for the service.

I expected to cry the whole service, to be sad and to mourn...however God had different plans on how the service would go. Although I did cry...we all praised the Lord in worship, we were challenged to live a life like Levi and we rejoiced that Levi was in heaven!

Brian and I before the service

It was such a powerful memorial service and we were all reminded that God gets the victory over sin and death as we saw several people accept Christ as their Lord and Savior at the service! Once again, God is good!

After the service there was a time of food and fellowship where we got to hear story after story about Levi and fun memories of him which was good for everyone's soul! There were so many memorable moments and he won't be forgotten!

Joy in the Midst of Suffering

Our world has been rocked recently by sadness, tragedy and loss. Our only hope has been Christ as our foundation and strength. I have to admit...I have never really experience tragedy and loss before. I have never lost someone close to me, I have never been to a funeral or memorial service and I have never had anyone really close to me get very, very sick. So all that has happened in the past week has been very difficult to process, understand and just cope with.

If you read my last blog post you know that our dear friend Levi Johnson went home to be with the Lord this past Saturday. His memorial service is this afternoon and I get the joy and honor to be a part of it and help lead worship and Brian will give a testimony of his close friendship and love for Levi. It will be a difficult but joyous occasion as we know that Levi is in heaven dancing with the angels and will no longer suffer here on earth. I have to choose every day to take comfort in that.

You think it would be hard enough to just bear the pain of losing a close friend...well, Brian's dad found out yesterday that he has stage 3 or 4 cancer of his appendix, colon/the surrounding area. It's very serious and will be very difficult to fight. While I am so broken for the rest of his family and devastated myself, I just can't imagine the loss and sadness that Brian has been feeling. It has been the most difficult week of our lives for both of us.

We have cried, prayed, laughed, been in shock, broken, sad- so many emotions that have flooded our hearts!

I have to say that there is no way we could have ever gotten through this without the strength the Lord has provided throughout these past few days. He is good, even in the midst of tragedy. So good.

The hymn "Be Still My Soul"- Sung by Selah has been playing on repeat in my mind and heart throughout all of this. Here are the lyrics:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine. 

I am reminded by this song that the Lord will always be by our side and that God will always provide. He is my friend and gives me joy, even in the midst of pain and suffering.

Another song that has been on my heart is "Great is Thy Faithfulness". I am reminded that God is faithful no matter what our circumstances. I listed to a sermon from Matt Chandler a while ago and ever since Levi passed away it has been on my heart...so Wednesday night I finally decided to try to find my notes from it. I couldn't believe I found and what's crazy is I listened to the sermon on September 29, 2011 and Levi died on September 29, 2012. God has a way of preparing our hearts in advance sometimes! It was so good to read over my notes...Matt Chandler was preaching about The Theology of Death. He said something that has always stuck with me...that no one ever dies early. ever. We all need to learn to be confident in God's ownership over our days. As Christians, he has a specific calling and purpose on each of our lives. Once that purpose and calling has been fulfilled we get to enjoy heaven with Jesus, forever! God owns my days, he owns your days, he owns my family's days...that should give us confidence. That nothing can cause us to die early. God is holding it all together in the palm of His hand. He owns it....and in that I find joy!

Experiencing Tragedy

This is probably the first of many blogs I write about tragedy and loss. God has taught me so much in the past few days that I couldn't possibly write it all down in one sitting.

This weekend started like any other...plans of REST, FUN and CHURCH. I had an exhausting week...I felt tired 24/7 and really just wanted to sleep this weekend. God had different plans. This weekend was the busiest, most exhausting emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually of any weekend, week I have ever had.

It started this past Friday evening with the LNHS homecoming game. Our church youth group was sponsoring/putting on a 5th quarter event after the game. We served free pizza, snow cones, had music, ping pong, corn hole and lots of music. and the best part of all...my husband got to share the Gospel to hundreds of people on the high school campus that night!!!! It was a whirlwind event! God is was working and boy did he show up! We started setting up around 8:30 and left the high school that night after midnight (way past my bedtime!) God was so good to us and blessed us with amazing help, support, and good weather!

Saturday marked Brian and I's three year dating anniversary. It feels like less and more all at the same time! We had such a fun afternoon! Brian had a men's breakfast with the church that morning at Outback...yes breakfast at Outback...it pays to "know people" :) Anyways, when he got home we went to the move Trouble with the Curve  and then went and ate at Bonefish Grille (pretty much our fav restaurant!). It was wonderful! We got home and took the dogs to play at the part near the lake. They loved running through the grass, smelling new smells and getting dirty haha

We got back from the park exhausted and needing rest before church. We went to bed pretty early due to the lack of sleep the night before. We both awoke to our phones ringing (by this time we had missed at least 20 phone calls). We normally don't get phone calls really late so Brian answered the call from Pastor Barry. He informed us that Levi Johnson, our dear friend from church had died of a heart attack.

Levi and his son at the pool

We were in shock. Brian didn't know how to tell me, I didn't know what to say, I just hugged him, crying asking why, how, and many other questions. It didn't make sense. Levi was young, vibrant, healthy and he has a beautiful wife and two precious children. How could this be true. I sobbed the whole night. I prayed. I cried out to God. I wanted to do something...how could I just lay there and try to sleep. Brian finally convinced me to try. I cried myself sick and finally fell asleep for maybe 2 hours.

The next day we went to church and as I played the guitar Sunday morning my heart was broken and my eyes were full of tears. The moment I walked in the church doors I broke down once again. I wanted Levi there! Levi served faithfully with my husband along with his wife in the children's ministry. He and my husband were best friends. They loved working out together and serving together! Our families spent so many fun and memorable times together we just couldn't understand why this had to happen.

The service was full of tears, hugging and memories of Levi. He touched so many lives.. We loved Levi. Levi left about 2 weeks ago for boot camp in South Carolina. He was fit, ready and longed to be a Chaplin in the military. He died one week and one day into boot camp.

Brian and I and our dear friends John Michael and Jennifer spent the afternoon/evening at Tina's house crying, praying, laughing and just loving on her. My heart is so broken for her and her kids.

Through all of this so many questions of why have haunted my mind. Why him, why now...but God always reminds me in subtle yet powerful ways that He is working in all and through all. That his plans are higher than my plans and that our purpose here on earth is to serve Him with everything that we have. So often we make our lives here on earth about us, but he has called us to more than that! He has called us to live a life like Levi...full of love, always full of joy, always serving others and a life surrendered to His plan...no matter what that may be. We will never have answers this side of heaven...you just can't explain the whys with human reason. but I do know that God's mission for Levi on earth was complete and that he is home in heaven with Jesus! and I know that Levi would not want us to be sad....he would want us to love, care for his family, and serve others!

I have never experienced the loss of someone so close. It's been an emotional time of mourning. but God's love and mercy has sustained us. He gives us hope in the midst of the tragedy.

I have so many more thoughts, stories, and verses that are on my heart and mind but those will be saved for another time. I will close with this, Colossians 1:17- "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."

Our God is our Healer, our Strength, our Provider, our Father or Protector AND ... He is holding us together.