Experiencing Tragedy

This is probably the first of many blogs I write about tragedy and loss. God has taught me so much in the past few days that I couldn't possibly write it all down in one sitting.

This weekend started like any other...plans of REST, FUN and CHURCH. I had an exhausting week...I felt tired 24/7 and really just wanted to sleep this weekend. God had different plans. This weekend was the busiest, most exhausting emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually of any weekend, week I have ever had.

It started this past Friday evening with the LNHS homecoming game. Our church youth group was sponsoring/putting on a 5th quarter event after the game. We served free pizza, snow cones, had music, ping pong, corn hole and lots of music. and the best part of all...my husband got to share the Gospel to hundreds of people on the high school campus that night!!!! It was a whirlwind event! God is was working and boy did he show up! We started setting up around 8:30 and left the high school that night after midnight (way past my bedtime!) God was so good to us and blessed us with amazing help, support, and good weather!

Saturday marked Brian and I's three year dating anniversary. It feels like less and more all at the same time! We had such a fun afternoon! Brian had a men's breakfast with the church that morning at Outback...yes breakfast at Outback...it pays to "know people" :) Anyways, when he got home we went to the move Trouble with the Curve  and then went and ate at Bonefish Grille (pretty much our fav restaurant!). It was wonderful! We got home and took the dogs to play at the part near the lake. They loved running through the grass, smelling new smells and getting dirty haha

We got back from the park exhausted and needing rest before church. We went to bed pretty early due to the lack of sleep the night before. We both awoke to our phones ringing (by this time we had missed at least 20 phone calls). We normally don't get phone calls really late so Brian answered the call from Pastor Barry. He informed us that Levi Johnson, our dear friend from church had died of a heart attack.

Levi and his son at the pool

We were in shock. Brian didn't know how to tell me, I didn't know what to say, I just hugged him, crying asking why, how, and many other questions. It didn't make sense. Levi was young, vibrant, healthy and he has a beautiful wife and two precious children. How could this be true. I sobbed the whole night. I prayed. I cried out to God. I wanted to do something...how could I just lay there and try to sleep. Brian finally convinced me to try. I cried myself sick and finally fell asleep for maybe 2 hours.

The next day we went to church and as I played the guitar Sunday morning my heart was broken and my eyes were full of tears. The moment I walked in the church doors I broke down once again. I wanted Levi there! Levi served faithfully with my husband along with his wife in the children's ministry. He and my husband were best friends. They loved working out together and serving together! Our families spent so many fun and memorable times together we just couldn't understand why this had to happen.

The service was full of tears, hugging and memories of Levi. He touched so many lives.. We loved Levi. Levi left about 2 weeks ago for boot camp in South Carolina. He was fit, ready and longed to be a Chaplin in the military. He died one week and one day into boot camp.

Brian and I and our dear friends John Michael and Jennifer spent the afternoon/evening at Tina's house crying, praying, laughing and just loving on her. My heart is so broken for her and her kids.

Through all of this so many questions of why have haunted my mind. Why him, why now...but God always reminds me in subtle yet powerful ways that He is working in all and through all. That his plans are higher than my plans and that our purpose here on earth is to serve Him with everything that we have. So often we make our lives here on earth about us, but he has called us to more than that! He has called us to live a life like Levi...full of love, always full of joy, always serving others and a life surrendered to His plan...no matter what that may be. We will never have answers this side of heaven...you just can't explain the whys with human reason. but I do know that God's mission for Levi on earth was complete and that he is home in heaven with Jesus! and I know that Levi would not want us to be sad....he would want us to love, care for his family, and serve others!

I have never experienced the loss of someone so close. It's been an emotional time of mourning. but God's love and mercy has sustained us. He gives us hope in the midst of the tragedy.

I have so many more thoughts, stories, and verses that are on my heart and mind but those will be saved for another time. I will close with this, Colossians 1:17- "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."

Our God is our Healer, our Strength, our Provider, our Father or Protector AND ... He is holding us together.